just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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