so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I looked at my own cervix.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i've created a new STD.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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