We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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