i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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