we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
