have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
