what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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