I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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