ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
