Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If I die, sorry about rent.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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