did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
