I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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