I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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