barbara walters just said penis...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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