Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
