just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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