Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize