Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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