Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
