honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
