It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
