so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize