Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
