I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
