just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
