I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
