we're blogging at a bar
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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