her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
