So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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