The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
