Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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