Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
