I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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