Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
