I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
