I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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