oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
How does one acquire holy water?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
A+ Viking dick
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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