You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
