So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
