its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
