My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
