Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
