yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize