If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
