u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I am naked and annoyed.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
