Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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