People in love make me want to vomit
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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