i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
