I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
