There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
