hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
found the other keg... it's in the tree
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
There's even glitter on my cock...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
