your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
