my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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