Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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