I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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