On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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