Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize