I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I FOUND THE LEGS
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
