hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
